Golf. (Credit: Soheb Zaidi/Unsplash)
It has been said that golf is therapy and the course is the couch. While this is true most of the time, sometimes you need a therapist with you. Someone to distract you from the stresses and strains that we come across from living in this crazy world. For many golfers, our course therapists can be our weekly foursome, a spouse, a family member, or a close friend. I’m sure someone out there actually golfs with their therapist, which would be great if insurance would cover that and the round.
While I don’t have a professional therapist golf partner, there is one person who I seem to be able to hash out life issues with while literally tearing up the golf course. My friend Daenerys Targaryen is that person for me. That isn’t her real name, but I was a big "Game of Thrones" fan, and this seems like the best way to keep her anonymous. I have yet to meet anyone with that name, so let’s go with it!
Daenerys (we’ll call her Dani) is a golf addict in the best sense. She loves the game and plays as much as humanly possible. She isn’t bad, but she isn’t good either. No disrespect to her, she is average like most of us and has her bad shots and great shots. Most of the time when we play, scores kind of go out the window, especially after we get beat up by a hole or two.
The important thing is that we have a good time golfing and we don’t get on each other's nerves, nor do we get competitive with each other. Some golfers thrive on a competitive partner or foursome. It is about the pressure, nerves and the glory. I’m not that guy. Just give me some fresh air, green grass and a beverage or two and I’m good. Dani is the same way. Without the tension of competition, our conversation goes all over the place from kids, to work, to my passion for bands like Thee Oh Sees and King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard, and her complete unfamiliarity with them.
A round of golf is a long journey, typically over 4 hours. It is never fun to be stuck with someone you don’t enjoy being with. There is a reason deals are made, or fail, on a golf course. A round of golf is a true barometer of a person. How competitive are they? How patient? How personable? How funny? How stupid? Golf with a stranger, and you will learn a lot about them during 18 holes, and if you’re wise you will learn a lot about yourself.
Of course, there are times you go out and get paired up with total randoms. If you’re lucky you will have a group that you gel with and if you’re really lucky you will become friends. It’s happened to me. I have played rounds with total strangers and ended up exchanging phone numbers. Then there are times where you just want to get out of the round as soon as possible. For whatever reason you don’t connect, your attitude sours and your game fails because of it. A lot of how you get along with your group can depend on how you’re playing. If I’m shooting lights out you can pair me up with Carrot Top, Paris Hilton, and Stalin, and I’d still be cool (what a foursome!).
Dani has been my golf therapist for a few years now. I’m a true believer in going to therapy, but I’m not so sure a professional is the right path for everyone. The key is to find a person, and place, to let out your thoughts and express how you’re feeling. Fortunately for me, I have a person like that who also likes to golf, which makes the round that much more enjoyable and fun. My advice to golfers out there is to find one or two golfers who you can just vent about anything with and try to play at least a round or two with them a month. Let it all out, but remember, what is spoken on the golf course stays on the golf course.
(The Back Nine is a biweekly op-ed column submitted to North Penn Now, courtesy of Edward Levine. The views expressed are his own and are not representative of North Penn Now/Fideri News Network or Montgomery County.)
